Over mama zijn

Ode aan de alleenstaande moeder

december 17, 2015
Single mom

Ode aan de alleenstaande moeder

Nee, ik ben geen alleenstaande moeder. Ik ken wel een aantal alleenstaande moeders. Ik ben ontzettend blij dat ik het niet alleen hoef te doen, want het lijkt me heel erg zwaar. Vannacht heb ik eens goed kunnen ervaren hoe het kan zijn om alleenstaande moeder te zijn. Diepe buiging voor alle moeders, maar natuurlijk ook alle vaders, die het alleen doen!

Wat was er aan de hand?

Mijn vriend moest voor zijn werk twee dagen naar Zwitserland. Dat betekende dus dat ik en de kids een nachtje met z’n drieën zouden zijn. Roos (bijna 2) gaat naar de opvang, dus overdag waren Mick (7 weken) en ik met z’n tweeën. So far, so good. Toen we Roos kwamen halen vertelden de leidsters ons dat ze niet had willen slapen. Verder niks bijzonders, ze was vrolijk, had goed gegeten, maar was alleen erg moe. Gelukkig had ik het avondeten al klaar staan, dus ze kon zo door naar bed.

Thuis was het even andere koek. Roos wilde niks, kon alleen maar huilen en zat als een aapje om mijn nek geklemd. Ze wilde geen hap eten. Zelfs met wat appelmoes en yoghurt kon ik haar niet overhalen . Het zal de moeheid wel zijn, dacht ik. Lekker vroeg naar bed dus. Ze leek als een blok in slaap te vallen, dus even later zaten Mick en ik samen op de bank.

Nog geen kwartier later hoorde ik Roos hard huilen en “mama, mama” roepen. Toen ik haar slaapkamer binnenkwam zat ze rechtop in bed. Ze had overgegeven en werkelijk alles zat er onder. Arme meid. Ik heb haar direct in bad gezet en haar bedje verschoond. Terwijl ik dat aan het doen was begon Mick te huilen. Het was tijd voor zijn voeding. Vanaf dat moment begon het continu schipperen tussen mijn dreumes en mijn baby. Wat een uitputtingsslag!

Roos heeft die avond nog een keer of 5 overgegeven. In haar eigen bed, in ons bed, op de grond, in de badkamer. In een paar uur veranderde het huis is een slagveld. Mick had last van krampjes en begon steeds te huilen wanneer ik hem weglegde. Ondertussen maakte ik me om beide kindjes vreselijk zorgen. Wat is het toch rot als je kleintje moet overgeven.

De avond leek een eeuwigheid te duren, maar rond een uur of 11 waren ze beide rustig. Mick lag in zijn wiegje naast mijn kant van het bed en Roos lag op papa’s plek in het grote bed. Ik heb het slagveld gelaten voor wat het was en ben er tussenin gaan liggen. Om 2 uur werd Mick wakker voor zijn nachtvoeding. Gelukkig merkte ik het voordat hij moest huilen, zodat we snel naar een andere kamer konden sluipen. Roos heeft niks gemerkt. Hierna hebben we met z’n drieën tot half 7 doorgeslapen.

Voor mij was het één nacht, maar wat lijkt het me pittig als je het ouderschap niet kunt delen. Daarom bij deze een dikke, vette high five voor alle ouders die het alleen doen. Jullie zetten een naar mijn idee een topsportprestatie neer. Keep up the good work!

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